The Jezebel Spirit
Characteristics of the Ahab Spirit
† The Ahab Spirit by Steve Bell [pdf file]
Passive versus Aggressive character traits:
Over-merciful versus over-legalistic.
Passive people like Ahab tend to be overmerciful, seeing the best in every person and overlooking too much. They forgive others too quickly (not making them aware of their offense) and also forgive people who have not asked for forgiveness and are not even remorseful. This almost certainly guarantees the abuser's continued behavior. Aggressive people like Jezebel are on the other extreme — harsh in their expectations and unforgiving when people do not meet their unrealistic expectations.
Walking away from a person versus walking over a person.
People with passive Ahab personalities quickly give away their power and walk away in order to avoid conflict. They find it easier to push their feelings inside. On the other hand, people with aggressive personalities seem to have no concern or conscience about whom they step on and use, as long as they get their way.
Avoiding confrontation versus in-your-face confrontation.
Passive people avoid confrontation at all costs and will even blame themselves when others insult or betray them. However, aggressive people have no problem handing out insults and pushing blame on whomever they happen to choose. They have no regard for others' feelings, and will more or less tell you this.
Peacekeepers versus peacemakers.
Passive personalities are notorious for being peacekeepers. They want the temporary, immediate gratification of keeping the peace at any price rather than "making peace" by boldly dealing with the issues at hand, which would result in more permanent, long-term gratification.
Grumbling under one's breath versus open verbal abuse.
People with passive personalities will resent verbal assaults, but they will refuse to take the offender to task and stop the behavior. Instead, they usually walk away grumbling. Aggressive people feel free to openly vent, abuse others and tell them off. Just minutes later, they will act as if nothing happened, even though they have left resentful people with wounded hearts in their wake. Jezebel personalities are so self-centered that they do not even realize they have severely damaged the people who happened to be in their destructive path, and Ahab personalities leave others feeling responsible for them as victims.
Do not mind being wrong (if you'll approve of me) versus refusing ever to be wrong (I'll love you if you see things my way).
Passive people often have such a need for approval that they will take the blame for anything if they perceive it as winning them your acceptance. Aggressive people will love you until you disagree with them! Then that love becomes a destructive hatred for you, and they will even go to the point of trying to destroy you and your reputation.
Fear of nonacceptance versus fear of rejection.
While passive people will do almost anything to gain acceptance, aggressive people (who are always insecure and often wounded people) have a huge fear of rejection. Their actions come out of an "attack mode" because they are determined never to experience rejection again.
Low self-esteem (clothed in nice) versus low self-esteem (clothed in fear of more hurt).
Passive people are usually nice people — too nice. They have low self-worth and try to gain ground by winning acceptance. Aggressive people also have low self-esteem, but usually they are bold, arrogant and pushy — all in an effort (because of old wounds) to avoid more hurt.
Fear of what people think of me versus fear of people not agreeing with me.
The fear of man totally binds most passive people. They spend amazing amounts of energy trying to please everyone — even those they do not know or those who could not care less about them. Aggressive individuals, on the other hand, are so insecure that they see anyone who chooses to disagree with them as the enemy. Filled with their own insecurities, aggressive people perceive any type of correction as more rejection.
Anger directed inward versus anger directed toward others.
Passive people are notorious for directing anger and insults back at themselves. If something goes wrong, they simply blame themselves. They often have major anger issues and will ultimately become passive-aggressive. Aggressive people pour their anger out on anyone who is available. They rarely look at themselves because they are so convinced that they are right. These aggressive personalities are self-appointed figures who think one of their roles is to correct the rest of the world. Sometimes they are sarcastically referred to as "gods in training."
Accepting blame too easily versus projecting blame (you made me do it).
Typically, passive people will quickly embrace blame in a situation in order to put everyone else at ease. While this is actually a kind of a false humility, passive people have the goal of making everyone happy again in order to increase their own self-worth. Like Jezebel, aggressive people will take blame for nothing! Even when caught in a wrong, their defense is, "You made me do it." "Yes, I robbed the bank, but it's your fault because you didn't give me enough money ..."
Excerpt taken from "Discerning and Defeating the Ahab Spirit: The Key to Breaking Free From Jezebel" by Steve Sampson, pages 34-36
|Read||The Jezebel Spirit|