For it was [so], when Jezebel cut off the prophets of the LORD, that Obadiah took an hundred prophets, and hid them by fifty in a cave, and fed them with bread and water.) . . . Was it not told my lord what I did when Jezebel slew the prophets of the LORD, how I hid an hundred men of the LORD'S prophets by fifty in a cave, and fed them with bread and water?
1 Kings 18:4, 13

Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, "May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them." Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day's journey into the desert. He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. "I have had enough, Lord," he said. "Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors."
1 Kings 19:1-4 (NIV)

And concerning Jezebel the LORD also spoke, saying, 'The dogs shall eat Jezebel by the wall of Jezreel.' The dogs shall eat whoever belongs to Ahab and dies in the city, and the birds of the air shall eat whoever dies in the field." But there was no one like Ahab who sold himself to do wickedness in the sight of the LORD, because Jezebel his wife stirred him up.

And he behaved very abominably in following idols, according to all [that] the Amorites had done, whom the LORD had cast out before the children of Israel. So it was, when Ahab heard those words, that he tore his clothes and put sackcloth on his body, and fasted and lay in sackcloth, and went about mourning. And the word of the LORD came to Elijah the Tishbite, saying, "See how Ahab has humbled himself before Me? Because he has humbled himself before Me, I will not bring the calamity in his days. In the days of his son I will bring the calamity on his house."
1 Kings 21:23

You shall strike down the house of Ahab your master, that I may avenge the blood of My servants the prophets, and the blood of all the servants of the LORD, at the hand of Jezebel. For the whole house of Ahab shall perish; and I will cut off from Ahab all the males in Israel, both bond and free. So I will make the house of Ahab like the house of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, and like the house of Baasha the son of Ahijah. The dogs shall eat Jezebel on the plot [of ground] at Jezreel, and [there shall be] none to bury [her].' " And he opened the door and fled...

Now it happened, when Joram saw Jehu, that he said, "[Is it] peace, Jehu?" So he answered, "What peace, as long as the harlotries of your mother Jezebel and her witchcraft [are so] many?"...

Now when Jehu had come to Jezreel, Jezebel heard [of it]; and she put paint on her eyes and adorned her head, and looked through a window. Then, as Jehu entered at the gate, she said, "[Is it] peace, Zimri, murderer of your master?" And he looked up at the window, and said, "Who [is] on my side? Who?" So two [or] three eunuchs looked out at him. Then he said, "Throw her down." So they threw her down, and [some] of her blood spattered on the wall and on the horses; and he trampled her underfoot.

And when he had gone in, he ate and drank. Then he said, "Go now, see to this accursed [woman], and bury her, for she was a king's daughter." So they went to bury her, but they found no more of her than the skull and the feet and the palms of [her] hands. Therefore they came back and told him. And he said, "This [is] the word of the LORD, which He spoke by His servant Elijah the Tishbite, saying, 'On the plot [of ground] at Jezreel dogs shall eat the flesh of Jezebel; and the corpse of Jezebel shall be as refuse on the surface of the field, in the plot at Jezreel, so that they shall not say, "Here [lies] Jezebel." ' "
2 Kings 9:7-10, 22, 30-37

"Praise be to the LORD my ROCK, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle. HE is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield, in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me."
Psalm 144:1-2

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which IS the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on ALL occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, BE ALERT and always keep on praying for all the saints."
Ephesians 6:10-18

"Lord, have mercy on my son, for he is lunatic and sorely vexed; for ofttimes he falleth into the fire and oft into the water. And I brought him to Thy disciples, and they could not cure him." Then Jesus answered and said, "O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I suffer you? Bring him hither to Me." And Jesus rebuked the devil, and he departed out of him, and the child was cured from that very hour. Then came the disciples to Jesus apart and said, "Why could we not cast him out?" And Jesus said unto them, "Because of your unbelief; for verily I say unto you, if ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, `Remove hence to yonder place,' and it shall remove. And nothing shall be impossible unto you. However this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting."
Matthew 17:15-21

When Jesus saw that the people came running together, He rebuked the foul spirit, saying unto him, "Thou dumb and deaf spirit, I charge thee, come out of him and enter no more into him." And the spirit cried, and rent the boy sorely and came out of him; and he was as one dead, insomuch that many said, "He is dead." But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose. And when He had come into the house, His disciples asked Him privately, "Why could not we cast him out?" And He said unto them, "This kind can come forth by nothing but by prayer and fasting."
Luke 9:26-29

But there was a certain man, called Simon, which beforetime in the same city used sorcery, and bewitched the people of Samaria, giving out that himself was some great one: To whom they all gave heed, from the least to the greatest, saying, This man is the great power of God. And to him they had regard, because that of long time he had bewitched them with sorceries.
Acts 8:9-11

O foolish Galatians, who hath bewitched you, that ye should not obey the truth, before whose eyes Jesus Christ hath been evidently set forth, crucified among you?
Galatians 3:1

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.
1 Peter 5:8-9

Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols. And I gave her space to repent of her fornication; and she repented not. Behold, I will cast her into a bed, and them that commit adultery with her into great tribulation, except they repent of their deeds. And I will kill her children with death; and all the churches shall know that I am he which searcheth the reins and hearts: and I will give unto every one of you according to your works.
Revelation 2:20-23



Relationship Abuses


Personality #1

THE 'PEACE AT ANY PRICE' PERSONALITY

These individuals are COMPLIANT PEOPLE. Frequently, they are people who were raised by aggressive parents who controlled them by using a combination of guilt, rejection and condemnation to assure proper behavior. For compliants, "no" is the hardest word in the English language. These individuals so fear rejection that they will go to great lengths to please people, sometimes at the expense of their own convictions. They are an EASY MARK FOR SELFISH PEOPLE WHO MIGHT USE OR ABUSE THEM. Most people who are compliant don't realize the fact that their inbred insecurities attract abusers to them.

For example, this was Jamies problem. You wouldn't think Jamie was compliant. She was busy all the time. Every move she made revealed efficiency, self-control, and poise. The volunteers under her charge moved quickly and respectfully at her directives. Her character and talents were highly regarded by the leadership. However, Jamie was a compliant individual. "No" was not in her vocabulary. Anything and everything that was asked of her to do, she did. Jamie's home became disordered and chaotic. Jamie was in the grip of performance. Her need for love and significance were so great that she was driven. She felt guilty if she said "no" to people's requests, capitulating easily. Though she was outgoing and presented the appearance of strength and determination, inside she was fearful and timid.

What produced this style of relating in Jamie? She obviously had a personality that appeared to be strong. How did the compliancy develop? Jamie's compliance started early in her life. She was raised by a mother who was CONTROLLING and MANIPULATING. Anytime Jamie tried to assert herself, her mother beat her back into compliance with a combination of REJECTION, CONDEMNATION, and GUILT. Jamie learned early that to achieve love, security, and significance, she must buckle to her MOTHER'S DEMANDS and standards of behavior.

Because the dominant authority figure in her life USED GUILT and REJECTION TO CONTROL HER, Jamie developed compliancy in order to feel loved, secure, and significant. Consequently, she felt THREATENED IF SHE REFUSED ANY REQUEST. Resentment and bitterness grew. She withdrew from church. Jamie feared rejection so much that it caused her to have a gripping fear of confronting another person. Instead, she tried to be all things to all people. When that failed, and it always does, she fled to escape the burden of her compliance and the possible rejection of the people around her.

Another example was Scott. Scott was raised by a controlling mother who USED GUILT and REJECTION to MANIPULATE HIS BEHAVIOR. Scott's mother took CONTROL a step further in that she allowed Scott NO PERSONAL SPACE. Consequently, as a married man, Scott developed difficulties with his wife. They constantly battled over Scott's refusal to stand up to his boss. His employer made excessive demands on Scott's time by expecting Scott to work overtime without pay.

Scott was talented and inventive. However, not only did his emploiyer exploit Scott, he frequently took credit for many of Scott's creative innovations. Not only did he refuse to challenge his boss, he made excuses for him and defended his boss's selfish behavior. Scott was a loyal devotee of the adage "peace at any price." HE AVOIDED CONFLICT AT ALL COST.

Scott indulged the same attitudes with his mother and father. His mother took the position that NO ONE WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR "Junior" and never missed an opportunity to drive that point home with Scott's wife. As the innuendoes and UNDERHANDED INSULTS flew, Scott PASSIVELY TUNED OUT. His wife felt hurt and violated. When she BEGGED Scott to intervene, HE TOOK THE PEACEMAKER ROLE, EXPLAINING AND DEFENDING his parents' behavior.

Scott's mother was particularly MEDDLESOME and MANIPULATIVE! She HOVERED OVER HIM EMOTIONALLY and PHYSICALLY. She was overly involved in his life, wanting to solve his problems in an effort to make him popular and successful. She COACHED and DRILLED him socially and was a participant in ALL OF HIS DECISIONS. Not only did she VIOLATE HIS RELATIONAL SPACE, she TRANSGRESSED HIS PERSONAL SPACE as well. His mother INTRUDED on him IN HIS ROOM, frequently entering without knocking. Scott had little personal privacy. Scott's mother INVADED EVERY AREA OF HIS LIFE.

During adolescence, Scott feebly tried to resist his mother's violations. She responded with rejection and cold indifference HE NEVER LEARNED THAT HE HAD A RIGHT TO PERSONAL BOUNDARIES. Now, as an adult, Scott conducted his relationships in a similar manner, FEELING HE HAD NO RIGHTS OR BOUNDARIES. He was PARALYZED WITH FEAR OF REJECTION. Scott believed his needs for love, security, and significance were jeopardized if he rocked the boat.

Characteristic of compliance is INCONSISTENCY. Consistency breeds security within a child. If there are no clear-cut, consistent parameters, then establishing boundaries later on might be troublesome. A FEAR OF REJECTION will become a motivating influence in his life. COMPLIANCY WAS NEVER A PART OF GOD'S PLAN FOR MAN and must not be confused with genuine humility and submission.

Though Jesus was humble, He was NOT COMPLIANT. Some people view Jesus as a wimp, who turned the other cheek and washed people's feet. Nothing was further from the truth. Jesus stood up to the most influential groups of Jews in Israel, the hypocritical Pharisees and the Sadducees. They tried to trap Him into error, but they never succeeded. They attempted to sway public opinion against Him, but He never wavered. They beat Him, spit on Him, and ultimately conspired with the Romans to kill Him, but HE NEVER RECANTED ON HIS GOSPEL OF LOVE AND MERCY. Most Jewish leaders rejected Jesus as the Son of God. However, JESUS KNEW WHO HE WAS AND WHAT HE STOOD FOR!

Jesus's gentle, meek, and humble spirit must NOT be confused with compliance. He was strong and firm in His convictions and NEVER COMPROMISED His mission on earth by embracing an attitude of "peace at any price."

Compliant people must realize that they are not jeopardizing the fulfillment of their needs for love, security, and significance when they establish healthy limits. THEY MUST CONQUER THE FEAR OF REJECTION AND STAND AS JESUS DID!



Excerpt from Freedom From Your Past by Jimmy Evans.