For it was [so], when Jezebel cut off the prophets of the LORD, that Obadiah took an hundred prophets, and hid them by fifty in a cave, and fed them with bread and water.) . . . Was it not told my lord what I did when Jezebel slew the prophets of the LORD, how I hid an hundred men of the LORD'S prophets by fifty in a cave, and fed them with bread and water?
1 Kings 18:4, 13
Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, "May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them." Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day's journey into the desert. He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. "I have had enough, Lord," he said. "Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors."
1 Kings 19:1-4 (NIV)
And concerning Jezebel the LORD also spoke, saying, 'The dogs shall eat Jezebel by the wall of Jezreel.' The dogs shall eat whoever belongs to Ahab and dies in the city, and the birds of the air shall eat whoever dies in the field." But there was no one like Ahab who sold himself to do wickedness in the sight of the LORD, because Jezebel his wife stirred him up.
And he behaved very abominably in following idols, according to all [that] the Amorites had done, whom the LORD had cast out before the children of Israel. So it was, when Ahab heard those words, that he tore his clothes and put sackcloth on his body, and fasted and lay in sackcloth, and went about mourning. And the word of the LORD came to Elijah the Tishbite, saying, "See how Ahab has humbled himself before Me? Because he has humbled himself before Me, I will not bring the calamity in his days. In the days of his son I will bring the calamity on his house."
1 Kings 21:23
You shall strike down the house of Ahab your master, that I may avenge the blood of My servants the prophets, and the blood of all the servants of the LORD, at the hand of Jezebel. For the whole house of Ahab shall perish; and I will cut off from Ahab all the males in Israel, both bond and free. So I will make the house of Ahab like the house of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, and like the house of Baasha the son of Ahijah. The dogs shall eat Jezebel on the plot [of ground] at Jezreel, and [there shall be] none to bury [her].' " And he opened the door and fled...
Now it happened, when Joram saw Jehu, that he said, "[Is it] peace, Jehu?" So he answered, "What peace, as long as the harlotries of your mother Jezebel and her witchcraft [are so] many?"...
Now when Jehu had come to Jezreel, Jezebel heard [of it]; and she put paint on her eyes and adorned her head, and looked through a window. Then, as Jehu entered at the gate, she said, "[Is it] peace, Zimri, murderer of your master?" And he looked up at the window, and said, "Who [is] on my side? Who?" So two [or] three eunuchs looked out at him. Then he said, "Throw her down." So they threw her down, and [some] of her blood spattered on the wall and on the horses; and he trampled her underfoot.
And when he had gone in, he ate and drank. Then he said, "Go now, see to this accursed [woman], and bury her, for she was a king's daughter." So they went to bury her, but they found no more of her than the skull and the feet and the palms of [her] hands. Therefore they came back and told him. And he said, "This [is] the word of the LORD, which He spoke by His servant Elijah the Tishbite, saying, 'On the plot [of ground] at Jezreel dogs shall eat the flesh of Jezebel; and the corpse of Jezebel shall be as refuse on the surface of the field, in the plot at Jezreel, so that they shall not say, "Here [lies] Jezebel." ' "
2 Kings 9:7-10, 22, 30-37
"Praise be to the LORD my ROCK, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle. HE is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield, in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me."
Psalm 144:1-2
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which IS the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on ALL occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, BE ALERT and always keep on praying for all the saints."
Ephesians 6:10-18
"Lord, have mercy on my son, for he is lunatic and sorely vexed; for ofttimes he falleth into the fire and oft into the water. And I brought him to Thy disciples, and they could not cure him." Then Jesus answered and said, "O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I suffer you? Bring him hither to Me." And Jesus rebuked the devil, and he departed out of him, and the child was cured from that very hour. Then came the disciples to Jesus apart and said, "Why could we not cast him out?" And Jesus said unto them, "Because of your unbelief; for verily I say unto you, if ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, `Remove hence to yonder place,' and it shall remove. And nothing shall be impossible unto you. However this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting."
Matthew 17:15-21
When Jesus saw that the people came running together, He rebuked the foul spirit, saying unto him, "Thou dumb and deaf spirit, I charge thee, come out of him and enter no more into him." And the spirit cried, and rent the boy sorely and came out of him; and he was as one dead, insomuch that many said, "He is dead." But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose. And when He had come into the house, His disciples asked Him privately, "Why could not we cast him out?" And He said unto them, "This kind can come forth by nothing but by prayer and fasting."
Luke 9:26-29
But there was a certain man, called Simon, which beforetime in the same city used sorcery, and bewitched the people of Samaria, giving out that himself was some great one: To whom they all gave heed, from the least to the greatest, saying, This man is the great power of God. And to him they had regard, because that of long time he had bewitched them with sorceries.
Acts 8:9-11
O foolish Galatians, who hath bewitched you, that ye should not obey the truth, before whose eyes Jesus Christ hath been evidently set forth, crucified among you?
Galatians 3:1
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.
1 Peter 5:8-9
Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols. And I gave her space to repent of her fornication; and she repented not. Behold, I will cast her into a bed, and them that commit adultery with her into great tribulation, except they repent of their deeds. And I will kill her children with death; and all the churches shall know that I am he which searcheth the reins and hearts: and I will give unto every one of you according to your works.
Revelation 2:20-23
Relationship Abuses
Personality #2
THE 'JEZEBEL' PERSONALITY
Jezebels are CONTROLLING and MANIPULATIVE people. Like the Jezebel of the Bible, these individuals FORCE OTHERS TO MEET THEIR NEEDS. Usually they aren't interested in changing any of their own desires or wishes, but rather endeavor to BEND OTHERS TO THEIR WILL, USING ALMOST ANY TACTIC THAT WORKS. They can run the gamut from outright BULLIES TO SUBTLE, SNEAKY MANIPULATORS. They come in ALL SIZES AND SHAPES.
A controller might be one who refuses to take "no" for an answer or the QUIETLY DECEPTIVE person who COVERTLY DIRECTS THE LIVES OF OTHERS. Bottom line, controllers are SELFISH as they CONTROL and MANIPULATE others into meeting THEIR OWN NEEDS OF LOVE, SECURITY, and SIGNIFICANCE.
BASIC CHARACTERISTICS OF "JEZEBEL" BEHAVIORS:
A) SELFISHNESS
CONTROLLING people are SELFISH and SELF-ABSORBED. They have little interest in meeting others' basic needs, but rather choose to manipulate people into satisfying their needs and wants. THEY USE TACTICS SUCH AS ANGER, ACCUSATION, or SUBTLE MANIPULATION TO FORCE COMPLIANCE. UNconditional love appears to be a foreign concept to them. LOVE IS A WEAPON to be GIVEN OR WITHHELD depending on one's performance. Life must be on their terms.
B) IRRESPONSIBILITY
Most controllers REFUSE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR WRONG-DOINGS, PREFERRING TO BLAME OTHERS. If they control others in order to achieve their goals, they don't have to deal with their own problems. If they can manipulate others then they don't have to evaluate their own behavior and accept responsibility for their sins.
C) BOUNDARY VIOLATION
Most controllers are FENCE JUMPERS. They won't honor other peoples' boundaries and limits. They PUSH THROUGH BOUNDARIES to achieve their selfish goals. THE COMPLIANT PERSON IS FREQUENTLY A VICTIM OF A CONTROLLER's BOUNDARY VIOLATIONS. The victim may have his boundaries violated so often that he no longer believes he has a right to any.
D) REBELLION
Controllers sometimes have serious problems with rebellion. They RESIST RESTRAINTS and AUTHORITY. They struggle with ALL FORMS OF AUTHORITY. Some controllers FLAGRANTLY VIOLATE THE RULES. Other controllers are so bound by performance that they may lack the courage to blatantly break the law, but they might find ways in which to bend it! They are forever searching for loopholes to wiggle through, thus circumventing the rules. Then to complicate the situation, controllers FREQUENTLY HAVE DIFFICULTY ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR ACTIONS. Consequently, THEY CAN'T REPENT OF SIN THEY REFUSE TO ADMIT. FAILURE TO ACKNOWLEDGE AND REPENT OF SIN IS, IN AND OF ITSELF, REBELLION!
E) GUILT and SELF-PITY
Controllers will USE ALTERNATING MESSAGES OF GUILT AND SELF-PITY TO MANIPULATE THEIR VICTIMS INTO COMPLIANCE. For example, a mother who uses guilt in an attempt to control confrontations with her children. The mother wants her son to give in to her because HE FELT GUILTY. When that tactic fails, she reminds him that she was all alone in this world, with only her son to love her. This approach was a combination of guilt and pity, again to illicit compliance. GOD USES NEITHER GUILT NOR PITY TO ORDER OUR BEHAVIOR. WHEN WE ARE WRONG, THE HOLY SPIRIT CONVICTS US. HE DOES NOT CONDEMN US, NOR DOES HE USE PITY TO ACQUIRE OUR LOVE!
F) DECEPTION
MANY CONTROLLERS ARE MASTERS OF DECEPTION. They are victims of deception as well as being deceivers themselvess. Since THEY CAN'T ADMIT WRONG-DOING, THEY FREQUENTLY INDULGE IN DENIAL as they ATTEMPT TO MANIPULATE THOSE AROUND THEM. Though it may seem impossible, many controllers do not recognize their behavior as controlling. THEY ARE BLIND TO THEIR SIN. They can't see that they are PLAYING GOD IN SOMEONE's LIFE. Other controllers KNOW EXACTLY THE TACTICS THEY ARE EMPLOYING. However, they believe that the end justifies the means. In other words, THEY KNOW THEY ARE MANIPULATING, but feel it is for a good reason and a just cause. Therefore, they don't acknowledge their behavior as sin. Since rebellion tends to produce deception, the controller is easily deceived.
G) OBSESSIVE PERFORMANCE
Controllers are usually OBSESSED WITH PERFORMANCE. The GOAL OF ALL OF THEIR MANIPULATION AND CONTROL IS TO GAIN A PARTICULAR PERFORMANCE FROM THOSE AROUND THEM. THEY WANT PEOPLE TO BEHAVE IN A CERTAIN WAY SO THEY USE CONTROL TO ACHIEVE IT.
Controllers can be healed. USUALLY, SOME DEMONIC INFLUENCES ARE MOTIVATING PART OF THEIR BEHAVIOR. Most controllers were themselves controlled, maybe by parents. FEAR AND PRIDE IN THE FORM OF SELF-DEVOTION and SELFISHNESS ARE THE ROOTS OF THEIR PROBLEMS. THESE SINS ALONE REDUCE, IF NOT ELIMINATE, AN INDIVIDUAL"S ABILITY TO HAVE INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS.
FEAR IS ANOTHER MOTIVATOR FOR CONTROL. Many people who have been sexually abused or exploited in some way have learned the art of control and manipulation to protect themselves from what they consider further abuse, while some others have adopted this behavior as a result of an inner vow never to trust or allow anyone close to them. The result of all these might be problems with control.
Though the DEMONIC, INIQUITIES, and INNER VOWS may play a large role in a controller's problems, SIN AND SELF-DEVOTION still remain their worst issues. The ONLY WAY TO FREEDOM IS THROUGH REPENTENCE FROM PRIDE, SELF-DEVOTION, and FEAR. Controllers believe their needs will never be met unless THEY MAKE IT HAPPEN. They don't believe God is big enough to care for them. Being performance-bound people, they may also believe that their performance is not good enough to warrant God's intervention or His love. They don't trust God to meet their needs for love, security, and significance and, therefore, must provide for themselves.
Controllers can certainly claim Jezebel as one of their examples. She was a model of deception as she PROMOTED HER OWN AGENDA for profit and gain. SELFISHNESS DOMINATED her life as she manipulatively endeavored to meet her own and Ahab's needs. LIKE JEZEBEL, CONTROLLERS EXPLOIT PEOPLE'S NEEDS FOR LOVE, SECURITY, AND SIGNIFICANCE TO ACHIEVE THEIR OWN GOALS.
Excerpt from Freedom From Your Past by Jimmy Evans.